


The Most Radical Thing

by onedoorcinemas



Series: In Sickness and in Health [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anxiety, Dark Times, F/M, Gift, Letter, Wedding, small ceremony, tw: depression, tw: loss and grieving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 04:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16611893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onedoorcinemas/pseuds/onedoorcinemas
Summary: “'When Audrey and Percy came to my office to register, I asked them amongst all the standard questions that I have to ask – I asked them, why do you think being married is the right choice for you?' Mrs. Robins told their families.'Usually, I get answers like ‘we want to show everyone that we belong together’ or ‘we think that logically, it’s the next step to take’. I was very surprised when Audrey simply said: ‘Because it matters to us.’ And Percy added: ‘Because we want to.’'”





	The Most Radical Thing

**Author's Note:**

> This one was hard to write. In it's very own, not literal way, it hit close to home. Maybe skip it, if you don't want to read about someone who was completely broken; There are also mentions of depression and grief.

**The Most Radical Thing**

_Percy and Audrey (27th March 2002)_

 

“The thing about Audrey”, said George and stirred his tea, “is that she manages to be a know-it-all and also funny at the same time.”   
Percy shot him a quizzical look and reached for the sugar.   
“Well, look at it this way”, George elaborated, “she knows everything – much like Hermione. But instead of being annoyingly pedantic and correcting people with _that_ look on her face”, George grinned and Percy could picture the sight so well it was scary. “Audrey cracks a joke. So, you’re belly laughing and can’t even _think_ about getting mad at her.”   
Percy smiled, and took a sip from his mug.   
“Yeah, I like that about her, too.” He said. 

They drank the rest of their afternoon tea in comfortable silence, and Percy mused about how Audrey and George were the only two people he could stand being silent with. Anyone else, and he would try to fill it with meaningless chatter.   
“Are you nervous?” George asked quietly when they cleared their dishes off the table.   
Percy took his time to come up with an answer. He wanted to give his feelings credit – it had been too long before he’d started to learn how to do that.   
“Not really nervous, no.” He said. “Excited, maybe, and tense, for sure. But in anticipation, not because I’m scared or anything.”   
George nodded. “Okay.” 

Percy slept on George’s couch that night, because he and Audrey wanted to do it the traditional way; not seeing each other until the ceremony. George’s living-room was comfy and dark and the couch was soft and warm, but Percy still couldn’t sleep. Maybe he actually _was_ nervous, he thought and followed the few shadows on the walls with his eyes.   
He thought about the first time he and Audrey met, four years ago. Percy had been broken, beyond repair – or so he had thought. On their first date he had barely managed to keep it together and had burst into tears the second he had turned the corner from her place.   
The next day he had sent her a letter, explaining that he liked her a lot but that he was in no shape to date, let alone be in a relationship. He wrote about the war, about the battle that had only taken place half a year earlier, he told her about Fred, about the strain he had put on his family in the years prior, and how broken everyone was.   
The same night she knocked on his door, gave him a hug and told him she wasn’t going anywhere and that she respected his motives but she still wanted to be there for him. She listened to him when he needed to talk, and she was there and filled the silence that made Percy almost go mad. And for the time being it was good the way it was.   
They got through it – one step at a time. More than once he felt like he was going backwards and she was there to tell him it was okay. He reconnected with his family tentatively, and he and George became very close. George was worse-off than Percy. Twice they had to put him into the mental-illness-ward at St. Mungo’s because he’d had a breakdown. And Percy tried to be there for him, and he was, but sometimes it was too much, and he had to get away – as not to spiral out of control himself. 

He fell asleep mid-thought, and awoke with a start at dawn, just a few hours later. He knew he’d had a nightmare, he could tell from his galloping heart, the sweat on his forehead and the faint pictures scattered across his mind – dark ones, that could only have featured in bad dreams. He took a deep breath and sat up, wrapping himself in his blanket against the cool air in the room. He got up and opened the window overlooking the semi-dark and empty Diagon Alley. 

There was no way he was going to be able to go back to sleep, now. So, he went to the kitchen and got a cup of tea, sat back down on the sofa and took a quill and a piece of parchment from his bag.

_My dear,_

He wrote and put the date down next to it. 

_It’s our wedding day, today. I couldn’t really sleep well. I guess it is because this may well be the biggest, most radical thing I have ever done: Because I am doing it for me – and not for my mother, not for Cornelius Fudge, my career, or anybody else - not even for you. I’m doing it because I want to, because I can’t wait for us to start a family and be_ _together_ _for the rest of our lives. And I am so lucky that you want that, too. Lucky doesn’t even begin to describe it._   
_You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I wouldn’t know who I am without you anymore. You’re like my lifeline, you hold me up like scaffolding and help me brace against the wind of life. You understand me, like nobody has ever understood me before and with you, I feel like I can be myself without the need for pretence._   
_I am happy that we’re only having this small ceremony – I don’t need a lot of witnesses, because there is_ _nobody_ _I trust more than you. I believe you and in you and I know that you feel the same way towards me and it makes me so proud – not the selfish, disdainful kind I used to feel, but true pride – the silent one, as you’d call it._   
_I’m always going to be there for you, no matter the circumstances. I’m always going to support you, because you deserve it. You deserve all of it for your support, for your uplifting words, for your hugs and your smiles, for your outspokenness, for your selflessness, for your drive and your ambition, for your integrity which is your best trait, and your self-doubts, which make your life hard and painful sometimes._

_I love you. And I am always going to. And I am going to be loyal to you and I’m going to do everything I can to make you happy – even though you’re the one who’s better at making people happy. I promise I will try my hardest, because to me you’re perfect._

_Love, P._

He put his quill down, and waited until the ink had dried, then he folded the parchment neatly and bent down to fish a small wooden box out of his bag. He lifted the lid off it, the old hinges on the back creaked,  and put his letter on top of the small pile already inside. There were probably about fifty of those letters from the past four years. Letters he had written by himself, in the dead of night, the wee hours of the morning, when he couldn’t sleep. They were letters from important moments, from little joys, sadness and love, all neatly folded, compressed by the long time in the relatively small space inside the box.   
Percy smiled _,_ and put the lid back on, fastening the lock. He rummaged around in the couch cushions to find his wand.   
When he found it, he spelled a beautiful rose-golden bow onto the box and set it down on the coffee table. He hand-wrote the tag: _To the love of my life_.

George entered the room with a paper box about three inches wide, tall and broad in his hands. “The florist gave this to me,” he said and made to open it. He produced a single white flower with a bit of green, cut short, about one and a half inches below the pale blossom.   
“Tadaa”, said George and crossed the room. He fastened the boutonniere securely to Percy’s lapel.   
“Perfect.” He smiled and set the box down on the coffee table. 

“Is everything alright over there?”, Percy asked, a little anxious. He had kept his nerves in check all morning, but he felt like he was starting to lose grip little by little.   
“Just fine.”, George said. “Most people are already there, Mum is going crazy, nothing new.”   
Percy smiled. “Let’s go then – maybe I can say hi to everyone before we start.”, he said and he could hear his voice shake.   
“Your last moments of freedom.”, George joked. Percy chuckled, despite himself. 

They went downstairs and out into the sunlit, not too busy alley. It was chilly, but the biting of the winter cold had vanished. They walked fast past all the people doing their shopping, and running errands, oblivious to the momentous thing Percy was about to do. He felt himself tense up, the closer they came to the venue – they had rented a small parlour just off Diagon Alley, on the top floor of an old building.   
He climbed the stairs behind George – they were narrow and steep and there was no lift – and soon they could her the unmistakeable chatter that could only come from the Weasley family and its extensions. Percy hesitated and looked sideways at George.   
“I don’t feel ready for all those people.”, he whispered, heart suddenly beating fast in his throat.    
George was quiet for a beat, then he swallowed and said, “It’s just our family. And Audrey’s family. Exactly fourteen people. ” He put an arm around Percy, and he felt himself calm down a little – he was being an idiot.   
“You grew up with half of them.” George smiled. “Even if we weren’t always nice to each other.”   
Percy smiled, as well, and they reached the door. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, then he opened and entered. 

It was a lovely sight: His family were standing in a loose circle between the rows of chairs, talking over each other as only they could. Hermione and Fleur stood half with them, half with Audrey’s parents, Geneviève and Paul, lost in a conversation that seemed to constantly switch between English and French.   
His mother was the first to spot him. She let out a delighted yell and came running over to him and Gorge, wrapping Percy in a hug.   
“You look so _gorgeous_!”, she practically screamed into Percy’s ear. A chuckle escaped him.   
“Thanks, mum.” He murmured, and she let him go, holding him at arm’s length.   
“No, really. These robes become you so well!” She reiterated – much quieter this time. She was smiling, but as usual, there were tears shimmering in her eyes. 

Little by little they had moved closer to the rest of the party who were still chatting away. Suddenly, it felt easy moving amongst them, patting on backs, hugging them, exchanging a few words. After all, he had always been good at holding small talk, if he wanted to – his family was no exception.    
When the ministry official came in everybody went quiet, the conversations coming to an abrupt stop, so the last syllables echoed in the room. Percy went over to greet her.   
“Hi, Mrs. Robins, welcome,” he said and extended his hand towards her. The middle-aged witch had blonde hair that was spiked with a few glimpses of grey and hung in straight strands to her collarbones. She was wearing black robes made of a silky material, a dark red velvet vest and high-heels of the same colour. On her heels she was about as tall as Percy. Her expression was warm, her green eyes shone and a motherly smile stretched her lips that she had painted bright red.   
“Hello, Percy, my dear,” she said.   
When they had met for the first time, the day Audrey and he went to register, he had immediately liked her – she had a way of making him feel at peace.   
“Are you alright?” She asked with a wink and shook his hand.   
Percy smiled. “Fine, thank you. A little nervous, but fine.” He replied.   
“I was just in Audrey’s dressing room. They are basically finished, and we can start punctually.” Mrs. Robins said, and Percy’s pulse gave a flutter at her words. He nodded, momentarily too nervous to speak. 

It all went fast afterwards. One moment they were all standing scattered around the room, the next everyone sat down in neat rows of threes, another mere second later Percy was standing at the front next to the desk and the door was opening.   
Percy inhaled sharply. 

Audrey looked _beautiful._ Her dress seemed to shine from within – and maybe it was. Audrey’s older sister Candice, who had crafted the dress, was a tailor and owned a very successful business in Manchester and a few other places. The dress was made of a tulle-like material, only one layer. At the top, where the spaghetti straps met the bodice, on the chest, down to her thighs the fabric was embroidered over and over with a delicate flowery pattern, so closely, that one couldn’t see through the fabric anymore. Further downwards the embroidery got looser, and her legs were visible through the skirt. Only at the bottom, where the dress pooled around Audrey’s feet on the floor, the decoration increased again, but Percy could still see her shoes through it. They were high-heeled, open toed and very simple.   
As Audrey came closer, Percy noticed more details. The dress did in fact, shine – Percy didn’t know where the light came from, but it was definitely there. Candice had also done Audrey’s make-up. She rarely wore any on a day-to-day basis, and something about it made her feel ethereal, untouchable – even though it was just minimal: a bit of blush, mascara and a glittery-white shade on her eyelids that accented her chocolate-coloured eyes. Her dark hair was half done up on the back of her head in a loose, almost romantic way, and her veil was fastened to it. The rest of her hair flowed in unagitated waves down to her waist.   
Percy saw that the veil had the same pattern as the dress, complementing it nicely on their way down to the floor.

She reached him; there was a broad smile on her lips, that seemed to make her glow from within, too. Her eyes were swimming in unshed tears, as she gently extended her hand towards Percy’s own that he had stretched out to greet her. He couldn’t help grinning at the warmth spreading in his chest when they touched.   
Only then did Percy realise there was music – a slow piano piece, light and happy, just the way they loved it.   
“Hi,” Audrey breathed as she took her place on his left side, their backs now turned on their families and facing Mrs. Robins.   
“Hello”, Percy murmured, “are you alright?” She squeezed his hand lightly and beamed up at him.  
“Utterly.” She said, “you?”   
“Perfectly.” He answered. “You look wonderful.” She blushed.  
“Thanks.” It was more like a movement of her lips than a whisper. 

Mrs. Robins began to speak, her voice elevated just enough so everyone could hear her.   
“Welcome.” She said, “welcome to Audrey and Percy, you two brave young people. Welcome to everyone who is here today, to support them.” She paused. “It’s so lovely that you’re all here.”  
Someone was sobbing a few feet behind Percy – he would have bet anything it was his mother.   
“When Audrey and Percy came to my office to register, I asked them amongst all the standard questions that I have to ask – I asked them, why do you think being married is the right choice for you?” Mrs. Robins told their families.   
“Usually, I get answers like ‘we want to show everyone that we belong together’ or ‘we think that logically, it’s the next step to take’. I was very surprised when Audrey simply said: ‘Because it matters to us.’ And Percy added: ‘Because we want to.’”   
Percy turned his head and watched Audrey. She was looking at a spot somewhere behind the officiant, her jaw trembling – she was trying hard not to cry. Percy squeezed her hand briefly and stroked his thumb across the back of her hand. 

“Right then I understood, within the first half hour of knowing them, that you”, she was looking at Audrey and Percy, now, as she spoke, and Percy made eye-contact briefly, but looked away again, when he felt his throat constrict, “that you didn’t do it for show – your motivation was an intrinsic one. One, that came from the dynamic of your life together, from your past and your future, from your sorrows and joy - not from the outside.” Percy could hear her smile, even without looking at her. He was fighting the knot in his throat fiercely, but it didn’t go away.   
“And so, we are here, today, to celebrate that. Your commitment, your love and your loyalty.” 

“It is now time to tell your partner of the love and commitment you feel in front of your witnesses.” Mrs. Robins continued, her voice taking on a more professional tone.  
Percy took a deep breath. He had played his speech over and over in his head the past week or so. He turned towards Audrey, cleared his throat, and started to speak, his voice wobbly, like it usually never was:  
“Audrey - I love you. And you of all people know how hard loving has become for me.” She was smiling at him, and he took her hand in his, partly because he felt like he was floating, like he was not entirely there and partly because he needed to be sure she understood.   
“Love doesn’t come easy for me. It used to, but that’s long over. And it doesn’t matter much – because, and this may sound selfish, stupid or narrow-minded to most people, but it makes perfect sense to me - I don’t need to love anyone but you.  And I do. And I will. Forever.”   
Audrey’s smile was wobbling, now, and she brushed away a getaway tear with her free hand.   
“You are the most important person in my life. And I want – I need you to know that. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, worrying you, making you anxious, sad or sick, happy or calm. I want you to tell me. And I will tell you.” He had to clear his throat, because his voice had become raspy from fighting against the knot in his throat.   
“You make me want to better myself – and that’s maybe the thing I love most about you. Because of you I became a better man. Because of you I am here and not on a self-important mission to become famous anymore. Because of you I didn’t break during what was – and will always be - the worst time of my life.  Because of you I can be sure that I will never have to go back. Because you won’t let me. And I love you for that, and for so many other things. I am eternally grateful that I get to spend my life with you.” Audrey nodded briefly, tears rolling down her cheeks. She took a ragged breath, calming herself, and it took everything Percy had to not pull her close. 

When she began to speak, her voice was muffled, croaky and trembling.   
“When we went out for the first time,” she took another deep breath, and when she continued the trembling was gone from her voice, “you were a shell of a human being. I don’t think you were able to make eye-contact even once. You were trying hard to keep up a façade, but I could see right through it to the raw, broken man you were. And my heart broke for you. I didn’t fall in love with you instantly. How could I, you thought of yourself as thoroughly unlovable. You even tried to push me away. And I’m so glad, I didn’t let you. Because what I found when I stood by you long enough to see who you were, unbroken and put back together, made me fall for you harder and deeper than I had ever fallen for anyone else.” Percy had trouble swallowing, his throat hurt from biting down on his tears. He tried to smile at Audrey but he knew he didn’t make a good job of it.     
“Our story isn’t romantic. Our story isn’t like a fairy-tale. Our story is messy, dark and painful. Our story is bloody in its very own, un-bloody way and it was never easy. At all. But I like it nonetheless. It’s so much more meaningful to me, because it was the biggest challenge life had in store for me. And you mean indefinitely more to me, because of all the trauma, depression and heartbreak we worked through to get here. I couldn’t have stood it if I hadn’t known, somewhere deep in the unconscious parts of my existence, that I was onto something special – that you were the one I was meant to find and that I had to stand by you, help you and be there for you – forever. And suddenly, some day, at one point, I don’t even know when exactly, I realized this was love.”   
Percy felt the grip he’d had on his tears slip away. They were pooling in his eyes, and he couldn’t see clearly anymore. He bit down on a sob, trying to stifle it, but it escaped. His insides were knotted strangely, pulling here and there, hurting him.   
“And I’ve loved you ever since.” Audrey continued and Percy felt her thumb caress the back of his hand. “And I always will. I promise.” 

Percy tried and failed to regain his grip. His hands were shaking, he couldn’t see. He could hear Mrs. Robins say something, but it didn’t register with him. He felt his control slip away, as renewed tears rose inside him, threatening to break the surface.   
“Deep breaths.”   
Audrey’s voice was close to his ear, so close it broke through the barrier, and seeped into his fogged brain. He obeyed, and miraculously, it helped. He could see her again, her face only inches away from his, and he wanted to kiss her. She was smiling a small smile.   
“Better?” She asked, and Percy gave a little nod. 

Mrs. Robins took out her wand, and Audrey adjusted her grip on his arm, so that they were in position for the procedure: fingers curled around each other's wrists. Percy looked at Audrey. He tried a smile and this time he succeeded.   
“May your marriage be filled with shared laughter and tears; may you never have to be alone anymore and may your love, loyalty, respect and care for each other never decline but increase with every day you spend in each other’s company.” Mrs. Robins said and a shower of golden sparks washed over them from the tip of her wand, that she had raised over their heads.   
Percy felt his fingers lock around Audrey’s arm, his whole body was suddenly rooted to the spot. It was a soothing feeling, one of being at peace, of not needing to go anywhere, and Percy savoured it, closing his eyes. A wonderful, fulfilling warmth spread in his chest, his stomach and through the rest of his body.   
The connection broke as suddenly, as it had come, and Percy found himself staggering, because he had leaned into it too much. He put his arms around Audrey’s waist and pulled her closer to him, letting go of all restraint. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, hot and feverish against his mouth and it was infectious; he kissed her back, pressing his lips to hers and he wanted to be closer to her. Even closer than he was now, with her wrapped around him.   
When they parted, he buried his face on the side of her neck. He could feel Audrey sob against his chest. Percy was beaming – all tears gone, he couldn’t have cried if he’d wanted to – and it was the best feeling in the world. He realized he couldn’t remember feeling like this and it made him grin even broader. 

The hugs and congratulations were brief, but they still went by Percy without him really noticing.   
He came back to himself, when the music started playing, and Audrey looked at him. He smiled.  
“Time to dance, isn’t it?” He asked, challenging her with a look and his extended hand. She took it and twirled under his arm into position. They danced a waltz – some of their family joining in one after the other.   
Later they had tea and a small wedding cake and then everyone left, until it was just the two of them, sitting on two chairs across from each other. Percy had poured some champagne and they were holding on to their glasses, with one hand, the others intertwined with each other.   
Silence had fallen in the room and outside the sun was setting quickly. They had lit two candles.   
“It was a nice wedding,” Audrey said.      
“It was.” Percy agreed and got up.   
“I have something for you.” He got the small wooden box with the letters from the inside pocket of his robes which he had discarded a while ago. He walked all the way back and held the box out to her.   
“Open it.” He said and smiled at the surprise on her face. 

She took the present, undid the bow, and opened the box. The hinges creaked softly. Percy watched her as she began to read the letter he had written this morning. Her expression changed from excited to solemn. He watched her put it down, and she looked at him.  
“I love you, too.” She gave him a little smile, and then she opened the next letter.   
Percy watched her go back in time, back to the letter he had written the day he had asked her to marry him; further back to the day he had realized marrying her was what he wanted – not for her sake, but his own; even further to their first kiss; back to the day he had realised he loved her, until she finally reached the last letter in the box, the first one he had ever written to her, the only one, he had ever actually sent her. 

“That’s the one that made me stay by your side. I was scared, I was going to crash and burn with you.” Audrey choked. “The one that I got the day after our first date.”   
“The one, where I told you to stay away lest you’d want to share my misery.” Percy continued. “I wanted you around so desperately, but I didn’t want you to suffer alongside me. I believed, I was broken beyond repair.”   
“But you weren’t and I knew that. I didn’t know how long it would take until you could be okay again, but I knew it would happen.” Audrey put her hand on the side of Percy’s face and he leaned into the touch because it was warm and it felt comfortable and safe.   
“It meant so much to me, that you stayed.” He murmured and closed his eyes.   
“I didn’t really have a choice.” She dragged her thumb across his cheek. “I believe it was love, all along.”   
“I’m sure it was.” He replied and opened his eyes to look at her. “And it will always be. No matter what.”   
She smiled. “I know.” 

“This,” she raised the box a little, looking Percy in the eye, “this is the most beautiful and heart-warming thing anyone has ever done for me.”   
“That’s what I was aiming for. I love you.” He replied and leaned in for a kiss.   
“I love you, too.” She murmured against his lips before she kissed him back.

**Author's Note:**

> I always imagined Audrey as half-french, because I needed her to be unbroken, untouched by war, even. Only then I could make her the heroine, that Percy needed so badly. I hope I succeeded without literally saying it.


End file.
